Here’s some bullshit …
Unoriginal bastards at the management or executive level.
You know exactly what I’m talking about; you’re down there, in cubicle hell, doing your thing and trying desperately to keep your head above water with the horseshit projects that come your way. And just then, when it comes time for management to review your work or offer input or even launch some bullshit new initiative, they reveal an “incredible” piece of “inspiration” that they’ve had (which conveniently winds up fucking all the work you had already done on something or all the work that was already planned for the rest of the year).
And where did this incredible light bulb moment come from? Did your fearless leader suddenly recall some arcane piece of information from their many years of experience and advanced education? Did the combination of responsibilities and coffee result in some groundbreaking revelation? Were the stars aligned just right such that your manager or vice president of blahblahblah or associate director of happy fuck-all came up with an incredibly refreshing and revolutionary idea that would radically reshape the organization and possibly bring about world peace???
Nooooooo. Of course none of that fucking shit happened. These people don’t have a single goddamned idea of their own. They’ve never had a new or different thought in the history of human existence. Not one.
Instead, what you wind up with is some self-appointed and overpaid asshat constantly moving the goalposts because they don’t know anything or have any principles/concepts/ideas that they came to all by themselves. Instead, they just regurgitate whatever bullshit podcast or book they recently encountered when they finally had seven minutes not being spent in another useless meeting of bloviating fuckwits.
And what happens as a result of this “incredible” discovery? You get bent over sideways and have your work thrown down the fucking garbage disposal, requiring more time and effort and ulcer-inducing horseshit that is absolutely unnecessary and completely above your fucking pay grade.
Then, like a fucking squirrel with ADHD, they’re off chasing the next thing three days later even after you’ve busted your dick doing all the work they dropped on you with their first bullshit “discovery.”
That’s right – whatever teabagging horsecrap they found and completely fucked your workweek with will be shortly forgotten or ignored or glossed over in favor of the next banal podcast they stumbled across while flying first class on the company dime, or whatever fucking New York Times bestseller from 8 years ago that they finally got around to reading the Cliff’s Notes of (because of course they wouldn’t have the goddamn attention span or vocabulary to actually read the whole fucking thing).
Jeezus Kreist on a crotch rocket. You’re down in the trenches, having spent tens (or hundreds) of thousands of dollars to get training on a specific set of skills (and a general set of knowledge), busting your boobs day in and day out to utilize those skills (for a bi-weekly paycheck that is wholly insufficient), and here comes some asshole—who was in the right place at the right time and knew the right people—to regurgitate some happy batch of horseshit (which they fell into accidentally after it was already well out of the zeitgeist), and completely fuck up your day/week/month/year.
Is there really any point to this? Is there really a good reason—other than a half-ass paycheck—for “worker bees” to put up with this kind of pseudo-brilliant executive horseshit?
The short answer is “no.” No, there’s no point; there’s no good reason. There’s nothing at all to keep you from lighting your cubicle on fire and flipping everyone the bird while walking out of the building like Denzel Washington walking away from a badass explosion in an action flick.
This is just the system. This is what we’re dealt, and this is what we get stuck dealing with. How in the fuck do these yutzes wind up in charge, ruining your day and your blood pressure and your stomach lining, while pretending that they have some great and incredible base of knowledge that maybe someday you too can aspire to?
They get there because everything is fucked. The veneration of corporations, the completely unfounded respect and admiration that people have for “startups” and “disruptors” (fucking hell, don’t get me started with that bullshit), the belief that somehow “business” (which is always corrupt and led by assholes and totally inefficient and ineffective) is the answer, the Peter Principle … You name it, all of these craptacular concepts and practices and real-world circumstances are the reason that quasi-dumbasses wind up in charge and ruin the bulk of your working life.
And that, right there, is some hardcore bullshit.